Perhaps you’ve seen this video of the invisible gorilla by Daniel Simons. If not, click the link now, watch the video and then read on. Six people wearing black or white shirts are tossing basketballs. The viewer is asked to count how many times the white-shirted players pass the ball. When the video stops, the viewer is asked a startling question: Did you see the gorilla? It’s amazing, but only about half of all viewers typically notice the man in the gorilla suit.
When communicating face to face, most people have lots of little gorillas wandering through their conversations in the form of extraneous filler words or excessive fidgeting. If your listeners are intently focused on your message, they may not notice these distractions. But if the listeners’ attention is drawn to them, these seemingly small behaviors can become the proverbial 800-pound gorilla in the room. That’s why I call these distractions “derailers.”
When it comes to derailers, there’s simply no substitute for the video camera. Try to capture a ten-minute clip of yourself in a typical business setting. Then, with the eye of a social scientist, examine the extraneous signals in your communication. The speaker who can eliminate the extra distractions from the conversation will automatically sound clearer, more focused, and better spoken.
