One question that often comes up in our workshops is, “Does how I dress matter?”

Our answer is “Yes.” How you dress is one of many signals that can influence how people respond to you. However, it’s not so much the style of dress that matters; it’s the apparent qualities that your choices convey, such as attention to detail, awareness of company culture, and the ability to represent yourself well.

While there is no one way to dress for success, we encourage our clients to consider the following tips when selecting their wardrobes:

• Dress for the job you want. If you see yourself at the executive level, dress that way.
• Dress for the best day on that job. Going into a meeting but unsure of the dress code? Imagine the high end of what people might wear in that environment and “follow suit.”
• Give at least as much thought to what you are wearing as your colleagues and/or clients have. From “business” to “casual” attire, every situation has guidelines; give thought to the environment you’re going into.

Additionally, how you dress can affect how you feel about yourself. When you are confident in your personal look, you are likely to be more engaged and exhibit more courage!

If you’re looking for assistance to find the right look for you, we highly recommend personal stylist, Jill DeWan of Flair Shopping. Like SpeechSkills, Jill places a high value on authenticity. Her goal is to “help people love their wardrobe and always feel confident leaving the house, no matter where they are going.” Jill successfully helps her clients create a look that inspires genuine confidence on the inside, so that they can more easily reflect that on the outside.

Dear Cara,

As a wardrobe consultant, I'm working with a client who is desperate to soften her image. I can help with clothing and hair, but it looks like some behavioral changes are also in order.

She is a lawyer who's been told she comes across as very aggressive. Although this perception can be helpful in the courtroom, she is sure that it is costing her a great deal when it comes to building relationships with clients, colleagues, and friends outside of work. Unlike so many women I work with, she seems to show TOO much confidence. Any advice I can pass on? - Carol F.

Hi Carol,

The problem you describe is quite common. Like a pendulum swing, many women fear being seen as lightweight so they unconsciously develop a style that leans too far toward authority or strength. For women in leadership roles, however, it's vital to balance authority with approachability.

From the inside it can be hard to identify which behaviors may sending the wrong messages, so I suggest she capture a few minutes of herself on-camera, either in her office or living room.

While everyone has their own unique style, after leading thousands of on-camera coaching workshops, I've seen very consistent patterns emerge. If the participant has been told he or she is perceived as too aggressive, stern, or unapproachable, the problem is often one or more of the following:

• Emphatic gesturing
• Lack of vocal variety
• Over articulation or "punching" of words
• Lack of facial animation (poker face or fake smile)
• Lack of eye contact (or strong eye contact with no facial animation)

If any of these behaviors are derailing your client's image, here's some advice you can pass along:

• Avoid gestures that chop downward. Instead, literally reach out to your listener. Use open palmed, back and forth movements (as if to say "this is between you and me").
• Work toward demonstrating more vocal expression. Extend your pitch range. Avoid punching words too sharply. Create a smoother melody with your voice. You don't need to sound like a kindergarten teacher, but do note that when we talk to children we automatically speak in a more melodic, non-threatening tone.
• Make sure to keep your face relaxed and interactive. While a locked-in smile is not a good idea, it doesn't hurt to demonstrate that you are friendly every now and then by smiling, raising your eyebrows, or nodding.
• Finally, be sure to hold eye contact with the person you are speaking with. (Studies show that people who are perceived as aggressive often hold eye contact longer when they are speaking and shorter when they are listening.) However, when listening or speaking, be sure to keep your face active -- avoid the appearance of a "cold, hard stare" by changing expressions every now and then.

The bottom line is that the more interactive your body language, voice, and eye contact, the more approachable you will appear.

Good luck! - Cara